I am not a feminist.

What is this feminism all about?

From what I understand, women asking for their rights from men. And also asking them not to look down upon feminine part of the world as lower than men.

Okay, but I don’t understand why ask them your own rights? If you think something is your Right, then just act upon it na, why ask? Is it asking permission to act upon your rights or asking them to fulfill your rights for you?

For example. Did we give men their rights? No, they just know that it is what they can do and act upon it, or simply they just do it.

Let’s start from the beginning. When we were hunter-gatherers, both men and women were hunters but men were mostly responsible for feeding the family because 1. Women are vulnerable when they bleed and wild animals sniff human blood from distance to hunt and kill. 2. Mostly women were either pregnant or nursing small children for most of their life.

This made men dominant on feeding the family and himself. And we all know how human generations are brought up. So when we humans started settling down and do agriculture rather than being hunter-gatherers, it was still men who took the major share of responsibility of feeding the family by farming. Even then women also have always been doing farming or agriculture at par with men on the farm that they owned.

Now the times are very different, there are only small percentage is farmers among so many other professions that have been created in recent years. There were times where we were under invasions from others, where men were killed and women and children were taken hostages and were treated worse than animals. So then it was the responsibility of men to feed, safeguard and protect the family-women and children. So slowly all the external responsibilities fell on men alone and they accepted it willfully and gracefully, never complained of ever increasing responsibilities and duties. And we became a male-dominated society.

Now with changing times, first people were willing to educate their daughters, send them away for studies and job fearlessly because of globalized society. Now as more and more women started graduating and getting jobs, men felt a competition or more precisely a threat! I say threat because, if non-working class started working, more employment is seldom created. So if he fails to get that job, he won’t be able to take care of his family. Women will anyway be taken care by men from their family.

That’s how the human species work, we prepare for one threat, and for the coming generation, our preparation falls short. Likewise, men were prepared to take care of family but family itself became a threat. So now men were confused as to what should be done. Because such a situation has never occurred in human history and so we have no genetic memory of possible solutions.

Slowly but surely they would have come up with solutions like they did all other previous situations. our contribution in finding solution is called Feminism. But our impatience or can I say unnecessary knowledge from social media made us feminists, made us hate men, made men our villains. Poor men, they will find solution for this as well and move on without complaining!

Anyway I just generally said it, I didn’t mean all men are naive and good. There are violent men, or can I call them beasts? drunkards, rapists, disrespectful men in the world. But do you agree with me if I say there are not-so-good women also in this world? There are a lot of examples but let’s just say there are women who want bad to happen to other people. Yes may be the Intensity Of Violence and Ratio of Violent-women compared to violent-men may be far less.

There are also men who do look down upon women and are actually male-chauvinists. I am not denying that. But I am talking about the other category.

Who are these men that we call Male-Chauvinists? Men around us? Or whole of male species? Let’s take one by one.

A. If men around us are male-chauvinists then who are they?

Let’s take my example, men around me are 

1. My father who is very gentle and a wonderful human being, he is simple and never looks down upon anyone let alone women, he doesn’t even look down upon animals. He has spent all his life and energy devoted to family. He has never made fun of women, he has never cursed working-class women, and he has always supported what our society has expressed its willingness to do. He has worked hard day and night to make our lives little better than yestarday. 

2. My brother who is very loving and caring, he has never let anyone look down upon me and mom. He always gave me space to grow first and then thought of himself. He has always accepted things/gifts only after I have chosen first. I don’t see a male-chauvinist in him. 

3. My husband who is loving and so much in responsibility towards me always. He always comes back home from work with a cheerful smile, no matter how his day was. He has made me feel like a queen where I can literally rule. I don’t see a male-chauvinist in him. 

4. My work place managers I have come across until now, if they were appreciative- they appreciated any employee they were in conversation with. If they were mean, they were mean to every employee they were managing. 

5. Colleagues, I have been fortunate to have good ones, but if any of them was showing disrespect to me or was looking down upon me… then he/she was either jealous or scared of competition.

But yes there are people in work places and families, where they make women uncomfortable I am not denying that just because I was fortunate. But it is not everywhere. So before deciding if you are a feminist or not, look around you, if you come across a majority of male-chauvinists around you then you are right to hate men and raise voice against male-chauvinism. But if you are majorly surrounded by good men or precisely NON male-chauvinists, then let your feminism drown. Yes you can still raise voice against men who are chauvinists, to be of support to people who are victimized, but not generalize it to all men.

Why do we call them male-chauvinists? Because they are in illusion that they are running the world alone and women are of no significance at all. Or they don’t know the world from female perspective and just because they don’t know, they think women are negligible/weaker section in the society.

So if that’s the case, even we don’t know the world from a man’s perspective, we have no idea what is going on with them most of the times. Can we give a thought on that? And be less cruel towards men? Respect them for taking care of the family for so many years and in times of extreme danger? Can we co-exist peacefully together?

B. If we think whole male species is male-chauvinist, isn’t it a disaster?

We want to go against half of creation itself! We are of the illusion that half of the creation is hell bent on destroying the other half! They are not… relax. They can’t exist without female aspect. So do us, we cannot exist without the male aspect of the society. We are looking at wrong side of each other, like magnets that repel. We need to start looking from a different perspective to attract each other and make our surroundings peaceful.

Male and female are two distinct yet inseparable parts of society, they are two extremes but begin 

from the same source.

There are lot of other aspects included when we mention feminism, male, female etc. But we’ll keep them to another blog post story for another day.

This is just one of the many problems we are facing. All petty problems we are concerned about and breaking our head for. When will we rise from petty issues and move towards a bigger cause?

Ever thought what are we human beings as a whole trying to do here? We don’t know what we are doing. We are busy, we don’t have time to think what we are doing.

We are mere surviving and busy finding more easier [lazier] way to just survive. By survive I mean basic survival eating, breathing, sleeping, wearing etc. We have made such a fuss for mere survival.

Okay… so the survival is taken care of… food is there from time to time, safety from being eaten alive is there, shelter is there, clothes are there enough for 7 lifetimes, and comfort is there if not luxury as majority… everything is done, what now…? What next…? What are we supposed to do now that survival is taken care of? By survival of ‘’us’’ I mean whole of human species i.e., children, grandchildren and great- grandchildren all included.

What comes after survival? 

Are we supposed go up the ladder of creation?

Evolution? Yes

Physical? No

Mental? / Psychological? Hmm, kind of… but not really

Spiritual Evolution?