My Recovery Story

                     *just before surgery*

When I regained little consciousness, I constantly heard people around me saying, “hey Anusha, wake up”, “your surgery went very well” repeating it as if to wake me up from the dead. I opened my eyes and saw a little over middle-aged nurse, half of her hairs were grey, she had a nice bob cut, her name was Asha and she had a squeaking voice which made me conscious. There was a sharp agonising pain in my knees. First words I uttered was ‘aah! My leg is hurting’, when I was not even half-conscious.

There was bandage wrapped around my left leg and braces placed so that I don’t bend the knee and stocking over the other leg. Blood stains here and there on the leg. Two cannulas on my left wrist and one on the right. An oxygen pipe across my nose, fungertip pulse & oxygen measurement device on my left index finger, and a drain dangling from my knee.  

I did not know of my whereabouts, time, date, place... I was endlessly waking up and dozing off. I saw other patients around me vomiting to recover from anesthesia effects. Nurses walked all over the long dormitory-kind ward. I realized I was in the Recovery unit, I had a fracture and just out of the surgery and Ashwin was nowhere to be seen! I asked the nurse every time I came awake, if I could see my husband, she kept saying I will be seeing him soon. Her undivided attention was on the monitor that displayed my BP, Heart beat and oxygen levels.  

I was told the surgery went on for 3 and a half hours. The surgeon visited the recovery unit twice, to check up on his patients, and told me the surgery went really really well! I asked the nurse if Ashwin is filled in with the completion of surgery or not, her response was positive. She was stuck with the display monitor. I still don’t know what time it was and how long I had been dozing on anesthesia.

I came awake to my senses when I sensed the nurse’s hands moving all over my body. She was trying to paste electrode stickers on various points on the skin. A total of 10 electrode stickers were placed on chest and limbs. Then I saw her wheeling-in the ECG machine, I noticed unnecessary attention towards me from all the staff.

The nurse was struggling with the machine, she adjusted the stickers on my body for 100^th time. Yet, there was no reading on the machine, she exchanged the cables with other machines but still no ECG reading. She was worried, no ECG, but patient is conscious!!! She called other staff and one of them noticed that the ECG machine was not connected to power! Thank God it was not my ghost noticing all these. I was alive.

After some time, I noticed other patients being moved to normal wards, even those who came to recovery unit after I gained consciousness! Why am I still here? I overheard the nurse telling the ward reception that my heart beat is 140 at rest [sleeping to be precise] it went further up if I even moved my hands and oxygen level much lower – 75 mostly and I won’t be shifted to ward that day..

I was told Ashwin will be let-in and there was no better news I was ready to hear. I will fail to explain if I attempt to tell you what he must have felt when he saw me first time after surgery. It felt as though we did not need words to talk anymore. He was allowed to stay for some time and it was evening around 6 by now. The effect of painkillers started to diminish and pain was slowly taking over. I was given a strong painkiller injection again into my right wrist cannula and I could literally feel it flow all over my nervous system with in a second. I was drowsy again.

A nurse came with a syringe, she said she wanted blood sample from my arteries and not veins, and told me it would pain because arteries cannot be detected like veins, but she had to feel the needle piercing into arteries on her fingers. She continuously pricked my left wrist with her needle, but she couldn’t find arteries. So she tried on my right wrist and endlessly pricked again and again until she felt the needle pierce into my arteries and drew blood. Both my wrists bleeding.

Ashwin was in and out often, he said our friends had come to see me. I was very happy to see them because by now we were so close I felt about her like an elder sister. I had slept through the dinner time and I was not ready to let Ashwin go back home leaving me alone with the goras [haha no offense, I’m not a racist] but visitors were not allowed to stay. Just then, staff shift changed and a cat-eyed gorgeous young lady [I mean a nurse] attended me. She gave me some comfort unlike that squeaky speaking old nurse. It felt ok to let Ashwin go. Chest x-ray was done on spot because of my uncontrollable heartbeat.

Litre and litres of liquid was being let in my body through left and right wrist cannulas alternatively. By 10pm 3 bottles were drained into my body. And the nurse asked if I had passed urine before and I had not. This hit me very hard. Even if I wanted to go, how do I get up and walk till the bathroom? I was told not to stand or walk for 2 days, basically no weight on the operated leg. Cat-eyed lady told me I should call her and ask for bedpan if I had to pee.

In that very moment I wanted to escape all this and just be back to normal as though nothing happened to my leg. Go back home, walk to bathroom and empty my bladder. Shit! No I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t even sit up on my own. I was weak and barely conscious, moreover if I moved my body, the monitor would blast for not being able to handle my heart beat! I fell blank for a couple of minutes until my bladder couldn’t hold anymore. I couldn’t bear the thought of an unknown lady taking care of me with so much affection. I finally asked for the bed pan.  

It was around mid-night, I winced from the dream of being falling again, the nurse came running and stroked her soft palms on my head. She leaned towards me and smiled, her cat-eyes were so captivating and so beautiful, that I couldn’t notice anything else around me. It felt like she was healing from eye-to-eye. She then changed the sheets of my bed and comforted me with warm blankets. I slept like a baby.

It was 6 in the morning, the nurse with a duty doctor were on rounds and collecting blood samples. I was given painkiller tablets after asking to rate my pain from 1-10 I said 6, and took blood sample from veins from my left elbow. I could not sleep after that. At 8 a lady wheeled-in the serving trolley, I ate some bran flakes with sugar & milk and orange juice. Waiting for Ashwin to come, I dozed off.

Visitors were allowed after 10am. Oxygen level had improved by now. Heartbeat still recovering. I was wide awake not drowsy anymore. Ashwin stayed with me all day, we talked to parents over video call. He brought my cell phone from home, at least to divert me. Around noon the morning shift nurse came with her colleague to remove the drain from operated area. When she partially removed the bandage I felt an excruciating pain. I asked if the stitches were coming out. She said there were no stitches, but glued. I smiled, I could really sense her face lit-up seeing me smile.   

Evening that day I was sent to get another x-ray and CT-scan done of my chest, because my heartbeat was not at all ready to reduce to normal. And blood samples were taken again from right elbow veins. It was a different nurse in the morning and I waited for night shift nurses to come. Unfortunately cat-eyed lady did not come, because she was a weekday-night shift-staff. It was Saturday.

It was hard again to let Ashwin go back home. He promised to come early the next day. Routine followed, I was feeling better by now. Morning and evening blood samples were taken but heart rate was still much higher than normal. Next day, Sunday-8^th April, Ashwin did not come on time, I was sad. I ate my usual breakfast, checked my phone and called my mom. Ashwin brought me my favourite Rice & Rasam, he took time to cook for me, and hence, he was late.

We were told all x-ray, scan and blood reports were normal, but still heartbeat was high, so a radio-active scan should be done to make sure there are no blood clots in the body because of surgery. They said some iodine radio-active substance will be injected through cannula into blood stream, and then lung scan will be conducted, as that substance glows, it will be easy to detect any small change in the in-flow and out-flow of blood in lungs and can be traced back to its origin point where the blood clot is. I was ok with it, so much for fracture and surgery was negligible. But, it was a Sunday and staff of that particular special scan were on leave.

A north-east-Indian nurse attended me that day, and I was comfortable with her. She told me most of the nurses in NHS were recruited from India. I talked my heart out with her. Again, my heartbeat started increasing, I was dehydrated. The already existing cannulas were useless now, my arms were swollen and the cannula-pipes in my veins were blocked. To hydrate me, they said, a fresh cannula needs to be pierced. There was no space left on my hands, needle marks, bruises and band aids everywhere. My arms had turned almost blue.

I refused to get pricked again, I couldn’t bear all this anymore. Patients were held in recovery unit for not more than 3 hours post-surgery, and this was my third Day here. Another scan was pending, heartbeat was not reducing, I couldn’t get up and walk to bathroom, dehydration made heartbeat worse, glucose couldn’t be given because of dead cannula. God! I cried as loud as I could and all the staff gathered around me. Ashwin panicked seeing me cry uncontrollably. After the energy release through crying, I felt strong again. And started drinking more and more water at regular intervals for hydrating my body.

I refused to pass stools in the bedpan and forced to take me to bathroom for defecation. I was taken on a wheeled toilet seat with Ashwin holding my left leg straight till I reached bathroom. And an extra chair was given to keep my operated leg. I also forced them to provide me with a jug of water to wash my bum instead of tissue paper! Everybody including patients and staff were curious asking, what was wrong with this young lady! Though I was strictly warned not to get out of bed before physiotherapist saw me. I barely slept that night.

Monday morning after breakfast, I was to be transferred to normal ward finally. Physiotherapist visited me and taught me to sit with legs still straight on bed, then to sit with legs touching the floor, and then stand with support of 2 crutches and finally to hop with only right leg and crutches.  Ashwin arrived after the physio-session and then I was shifted to the ward. I could finally see outside of the window because there were no windows in recovery unit.

I could now see sky, grassy land, normal people walking in and out, fresh air touched my face after 3 whole days. I could see myself feeling good and recovering. I was provided with warm water and wet tissues to clean myself up, and a new hospital gown. It was refreshing. Ashwin was working from home so he worked from the ward. He worked from home for the next 6 months. For dinner I ate hospital food now because it was good compared to recovery unit and lunch was home [husband] cooked. So a day in the ward was completed and I was free from the ever-wailing monitor.

Next day I was convinced to undergo the special scanning, and agreed to get the cannula pierced. I was taken to the scanning department. A lady there, filled me in with the procedure, once the radio-active substance is injected, I would feel the heat flowing inside all of my body and a metallic taste would prevail for some time and I was supposed to breathe as they instructed.

As soon as the metallic taste appeared, I felt sick and found it hard to breathe, I was sweating. I couldn’t hold anymore and shouted that I was sick. Once they pulled me out of the machine, I puked and fell sick. And fortunately scanning was completed and I was brought back to ward. The reports came out normal and I was labelled tachy-cardiac [your high is my normal!] and listed under discharge-from-hospital category.

Physiotherapy started in full fledge. And I was able to walk a couple of steps on my own with crutches. I was trained to walk with crutches, climb a couple of stairs with crutches, sit and getup on toilet seat- as there were no railings available at home like hospital bathrooms. I was told to climb stairs regularly and not bend my knee for 2 full weeks.

I had appointments to follow up every 2 weeks for physiotherapy. And they would adjust the braces fixed on my knee to 30degree bend for 3^rd and 4^th week. 60degree bend for 5^th and 6^th week. 90degree bend for 7^th and 8^th week and finally get rid of braces. But mandatory to walk with both the crutches. Slowly I learnt to walk with one crutch and after 5-6 months of surgery I was able to walk without crutches. And after I completed all physiotherapy appointments, I travelled to my native for getting pampered by my parents which I’m not planning to end any time soon.

            *2 weeks after surgery, knee-bend: 30degree*

I hope I have fulfilled your expectations on the second part. Thank you all so much for reading first part and motivating me to write the final part.